Help I'm Trapped In A Straight Guy's Body
by Se7enSarang
Summary: Ryoma is dating Sakuno, but then, here comes the good partRyoma’s spirit from another dimension comes into his body. He thinks that Sakuno is a little dimwitted. he believes that Fuji is his fiancé. How will Fuji react?


The security guard gets pulled into the bathroom by the evil lady. In the security office, watching everything, the main character screams runs away. Good, at least she has some common sense. This scary movie doesn't seem so bad. In fact, I really like it. I'll come watch it again...with the team...or even alone.

But definitely NOT with my girlfriend. My arm is really starting to hurt from Sakuno's vice tight grip on it.

This is our fourth date, and therefore her turn to pick out where to go. She must have heard somewhere that I like scary movies, so here I am watching The Grudge. If she doesn't like these type of movies, she could have chosen something that wouldn't end up in my arm's circulation being cut off.

"You're really clingy today," I whisper to her. She blushes and removes her hand. How do I keep getting into these dates with her? Somewhere along the way we started going steady. People keep telling me how it was very obvious that we would get together. 'The most obvious pairing' or something like that. Er, that bothers me a little.

Either way, here I am with Sakuno, trying to regain feeling back into my arm. For the rest of the movie, everything seems fine.

The evil lady, Kayako, crawls towards Sarah Michelle Gellar as she is pressed against the front door. A yelp and an arm numbing moment later, I'm back to my predicament. I sigh. Oh well, the movie looks like it's almost over anyway. Yep, there we go, credits. Thank GOD for credits!

"I'm going home now," I tell her as we exit the movie theater. "Do you want me to walk you home?"

"Oh, no, no. It's okay, I don't want to be in your way," she blushes up a storm.

"Ok, then. I'll see you tomorrow," I tell her as I walk off towards my house.

"What? A poor little girl left alone by her boyfriend? Who knows what may happen to her?" A suspiciously familiar voice says in a loud voice. I look around for my dad. No sign of him.

Turning around, I spot Sakuno looking embarrassed. I walk towards her, take her hand, and walk towards her house.

"Um, thank you."

"I don't really care either way."

I should have known that my dad would be spying on us. That man has no life whatsoever. Well, at least not besides reading porn and whatnot. Even though we don't need the money, he could try getting a job somewhere. Perhaps a coaching job, since I doubt he has many other skills. On second thought, he may just end up working AT an adult bookstore just to get discounts. Better not to mention getting a career to him. He'll get strange ideas.

At the rate we're going, it's going to be a good twenty minutes before I get home. If my father's going to follow me, he could at least bring a car to drive me home.

"Echizen-kun. Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat," Sakuno offers.

"No, I'm fine."

"Do you want some tea then?"

"Not really."

"I just got this new computer. Do you want to see it?"

"Not right now, no."

"Oh, okay..."

I see her house approaching. Good, now I can go home to rest for an early practice tomorrow.

"What about photos? I have tons of photos of your tournaments!" Sakuno yells out suddenly. It catches me a little off-guard.

"Why?" I find that strange. She went to all of the tournaments? She's going to become like my dad. A person with no life of her own.

"Um, I...I don't know. Um. Do you want to talk to Grandma? She's here today," Sakuno offers again. We're at her house, so I stop.

"Are you mad at me?" Sakuno asks me.

"No."

"Then why did you stop walking?" she asks.

"Because we're at your house," I point out. She blushes, apologizes, and looks nervous.

"Go on and kiss the girl," I hear some strange singers start up. Er, what the hell? I turn about, looking for my dad and whoever else is with him.

"Strange people are out tonight," she notes.

"Yea, so I'll be going now." I'm about to turn around when I see how sad she looks. Fine! I don't want to kiss someone in front of an audience, but I just want to get home safely, so I'll do it.

Leaning in to her, I give her a peck on her lips.

"Good night," I whisper and finally head home.

"Good Night!" she yells back happily.

* * *

I stop by the Starbucks near my house to pick up a Frappuccino. Silently, I reach my house. Fortunately, I live in a temple structured house, so I'm not reminded of The House in The Grudge. Another plus is that for a temple house, we mostly use European doors. Even since coming to Japan, I never quite understood why they use sliding doors. Very insecure, that.

I step inside and put my frappuccino on the table. Finally! Some rest. A sharp pain resounds in my head.

"OW!" I hold my head. The pain refuses to go away. What the hell? I never had a migraine before, but I'm pretty sure that's what's going on.

"Ah!" Another blinding flash hits me. Black spots appear. I think I'm...pass...ing...out...

"Ryoma! Ryoma! Wake up!" I hear my mom yelling into my ear. Groggily, I sit up.

"What happened?" I blink and rub my eyes.

"You passed out," my dad informs me.

"Great."

"Are you okay?" my mom asks.

"Yea, I think so," I stand up slowly. It seems like I'm okay.

"You're probably just tired, why don't you go to bed early?"

"Yea, do that. I'll drink the rest of this," my dad begins to drink a frappuccino.

"Ok..." I look on, slightly confused. Why should I care if he drinks some iced coffee or not?

Up in my room, I shuffle around in my bed a little, thinking about what happened today, then fall asleep.

* * *

"Hey, you're here early," Momo looks shocked.

"What are you talking about? I'm never late," I shoot him a look. Momo gives me an incredulous look that said, You're joking. I stare stubbornly back.

"Well, after your date yesterday, I figured that you might be here even later than usual," Momo tries to tease me. How did he know what had almost happened?

"Hey! Don't assume that I'm easy!" I snap back.. What does he mean to imply?

"Easy? Oh, you mean to get into bed? I didn't assume that. I mean, all you did was kiss the girl...and you did _that_ only after we persuaded you to," Momo says defensively.

Kiss. The girl? My mind goes blank. Wait, did I hear correctly? I kissed a girl?

"I didn't kiss any girl," I correct him. Confusion is sprayed across my face, I'm sure of it. Hold on, Momo might just be trying to get a rise out of me.

"Um, yes you did. I was there, so were, ah, er, cough, a couple of other people," Momo has the grace to be ashamed.

"Fine, keep thinking that," I walk over and begin to stretch. Looking around nervously, I look towards the entrance of the lockers.

Fuji walks in, talking animatedly with Eiji. Rather, Eiji is talking a mile a minute, and Fuji listens politely. Eiji turns to look over at me.

"Ooooo, Ochibi, how was your date last night?" Eiji glomps me. I frown for two reasons. One, I don't like being glomped. Two, why is Fuji just ignoring me? He's over at his locker, smiling at Eiji's antics. "I bet you **at least** got to first base. Am I right, Momo?"

"Yep, I saw them last night," Momo confirms.

"Er, you guys," I frown.

"This guy just needs to gain a little more confidence, I'm sure." Momo tells Eiji happily. I struggle to hold my composure, chocking a little.

Eiji soaks it all up. Fuji just chuckles. My two teammates keep joking around. Why is Fuji ignoring me? Grrrrrr. He hasn't even said hello.

"Yes, Ochibi just needs a little more experience. Either way, I'm sure you enjoyed kissing? Right? Right?" Eiji nudges me with his elbow suggestively. "Oh, did you guys walk home together?"

"Why don't you ask Fuji? You were talking to him before you came in here anyway," I point out in annoyance. Shruggin them off, I see Fuji turn around with a confused expression.

"Oooo, Fuji. You must be sneakier than us. I didn't see you last night," Momo grins.

"Um, but I wasn't sneaking around last night," Fuji responds.

"Of course not. You were with me," This is all starting to get a bit too confusing. Fuji and everyone else look shocked and bewildered. I'll just forget about it. "Oh well, fine, if you don't want to talk about it."

I walk out. After running around and a few practice games, we're all ready to go home. I notice that Sakuno had been watching the entire time. Why in the world would she care about practice?

"Do you want a ride home," Momo hops onto his bike.

"No, I'll walk today," I start on home.

"Ok," Momo rides off, probably to get a burger.

"Echizen!" Fuji catches up to me. I ignore him, see how he likes it. I see him walk along with me for awhile.

"Are you okay?" Fuji asks, concerned. I shrug. "I really didn't spy on your date yesterday."

"Of course you didn't," I state the obvious. Why is he acting so oblivious? Maybe for some reason, he really doesn't remember yesterday. Can't think **why** he wouldn't remember. Maybe he got drunk or something. Fuji isn't really that type of person, but you never know.

"Are you mad at me?"

Fuji gets startled at this, "No, of course not. Why would I be mad?"

"You were ignoring me this morning," I tell him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it," Fuji shoots me a nervous look. He didn't realize? How could he not? "How about we go eat burgers with Momo? I'll pay for your meal to make up for it."

He looks so eager to make it up to me, I say yes. Besides, I'm hungry.

* * *

"That was good!" Momo announces as he finishes his burger.

"You eat too much," I tell him.

"Same as you," he shoots back.

"I want some ice cream when I get home. I'm not full yet," Eiji decides.

"I should be getting home," I realize. Some extra practice with my dad today would be nice.

"Allright, I'll see you tomorrow," Fuji tells me, smiling. I love that smile, so cute and sexy at the same time.

Leaning down I swipe a kiss off of those full lips. I feel Fuji move back, hitting his head against the back seat.

Finishing my kiss, I look down at him.

"Are you okay?" I ask, referring to his head. He and everyone else stares at me in shock.

"What?" I ask. They continue to stare in shock.

"Wow, we didn't even have to persuade him that time," Mom says in wonder.

"Er, I didn't know Ochibi had a crush on Fuji. Ochibi is so daring!!!" Eiji says with vigor.

"Um...Momo...Eiji..." Fuji looks embarrassed. Glancing up, he asks, "What about Sakuno?"

"What about Sakuno?" I ask suspiciously.

"Well, aren't you dating her?" Fuji points out.

"Yea, poor girl," Momo dismisses her.

"Yea, this is more interesting," Eiji gets excited.

"I'm not dating Sakuno!!!" I exclaim. Good God, why in HELL do they think that? There's no way I'd date her.

"Yes, you were on a date with her last night," Momo reminds me.

"No! I was with Fuji!" I yell back.

"Ame...amestia...what's that word, Fuji?" Eiji turns toward Fuji.

"Amnesia, Eiji," He helps out absently, seemingly still embarrased.

"Yea! Exactly!" Eiji says.

"I do not have amnesia! I'm engaged to Fuji! Did all of YOU guys forget?" I shout.

"That's news to me," Momo says and Eiji nods his head in confirmation.

"Fuji, tell them!" I glance at him expectantly.

"Er..." he starts.

"Don't you even remember LAST NIGHT?! No wonder you didn't say anything! Last night didn't mean anything to you at all!!!" I burst out. The tables around us go silent. Shit, I said way too much. Now is a good time to leave.

* * *

Gah! The whole Sakuno/Ryoma pairings annoy me soooo much. With so many hotties to choose from, why go for the incredibly annoying girl???? This is my revenge against those fanfics.


End file.
